Scanlyze

The Online Journal of Insight, Satire, Desire, Wit and Observation

How Star Wars 7,8,9 would go if I was the writer and producer

I’m so disappointed with the deconstructive and destructive nature and intent of the new Star Wars movies. Leia and Han’s storybook marriage disintigrated and their son turned into an emo psycho-killer cultist. Everything Luke believed when he was a young Jedi knight was wrong, and now he is a broken old man who has severed his connection with the force and sunk his starfighter in the sea.

What a load of horse hockey.

So here’s how it would go if it were up to me.

The crawl at the beginning of ep 7:

STAR WARS
Episode 7
A New Menace

The NEW REPUBLIC has collapsed into feuding republics and principalities. The RESISTANCE was disarmed. Those who resisted are hunted as terrorists and killed or imprisoned. HAN and LEIA SOLO run a shipyard and cantina at Mos Eisley on Tatooine.

Demobilized STORM TROOPERS form the basis of a political movement called the Home Soil Movement. Imperial Remnants threaten the Republic from beyond known space. And where are the Jedi? Vanished, gone and almost forgotten.

LUKE SKYWALKER disappeared ten years ago and his whereabouts are unknown.

Prologue

Luke and Leia at the cantina… smuggling/resistance business… an unexpected guest. It is Chewbacca, taking some leave before returning to Kasssyk to take up a post as a General in the militia.

Chewbacca is concerned. His scouts report that dissident Storm Troopers have found a new line of credit with the banking clan and have been seen on Kamino, home of the cloners who made the Clone troopers during the Clone Wars. Over dinner they fall to discussing old times.

After the destruction of the second Death Star and fall of Emperor Palpatine, much of the fleet was demobilized. However a sizable fleet of several hundred ships under Admiral Thrawn departed for the Unknown Regions.

What happened to Luke? After the war he was hailed as a hero but refused all honors, retiring to Tatooine, living in Obi-Wan’s old campsites and becoming much of a hermit. Then one day he was gone, just gone. And Leia could no longer sense him in the force.

PS I wrote this Dec 30, 2017, but I am posting it now in contrast to the actual progress and conclusion of the third Star Wars trilogy.

Copyright © 2019 Henry Edward Hardy

20 December, 2019 Posted by | scanlyze | , , , , | Leave a comment

Speculations on the End of Star Wars Rebels

Just to speculate further on the end of the story of Star Wars Rebels from the current 4.10-11, “Jedi Night” and “Dume.”

We know from the trailers and TV episode two line previews that Ezra will confront Chancellor Palpatine/Darth Sideous/The Emperor in the last episode. And though the wolves are not shown in frame together with The Emperor, the way the trailer is edited seems to imply that the Loth-Wolves will back Ezra up.

Here are my thoughts in no particular order.

Ezra is a guile hero, an Artful Dodger or Space Aladdin, so maybe the confrontation with Palpatine is some kind of a ruse. I hope that works out well for him. Because the Emperor as he was depicted in Clone Wars just toyed with Darth Maul and his brother, Sauvage Opress until he savagely curb stomped them, killing Sauvage and torturing Maul mercilessly. He literally says when Maul begs for mercy, “There is no mercy” and keeps on force lighting barbecuing him.

That leads to, regardless of whether Ezra being captured by the Emperor is part of some Batman Gambit or not, maybe he ends up getting force lighting melted and turns into Snoke. That would make the inglorious death of Snoke in Star Wars 8, whatever its called, in which Luke loses his mind and dies for no apparent reason, even more insulting to the fandom in retrospect.

Regardless of whether Ezra’s tale ends well or badly for him, surely he will be given some noble send-off which will both be a moment of awesome for him and the entire crew, and which will in some important way set up the events of the Original Trilogy. Maybe he will get hold of the plans for the *second* Death Star and many Bothans will die.

Ezra has to be taken out somehow. I don’t think he can use the Eowyn/by no man born factor of “I’m no Jedi” credibly here. “The Last of the Jedi will you be” is touchstone canon. Althogh perhaps, it means, “the last of the Jedi will you be, eventually.”

Since we have seen a lot of trailer material pointing to the Ones and even the Convoree monkey-bird specificly, I guess how things work out is something to do with Mortis.

My best tale goes something like this. Loth wolves take Ezra&co to Mortis. There, Ahsoka, living or dead or whatever, maybe in the form of the convoree, informs them the spirit world is running amok with nobody to guide it. Ahsoka will become the new “Father” (or “Mother”) with Ezra and Sabine filling the roles of the “son” (Ezra, dark after Palpatine tenderizes him) and “daughter” Sabine (light). It seems reasonable how Sabine must be strong in the Force as A) she is such a badass verging on Mary Sue, and B) she mastered the Darksaber, which was a Mandalorean Jedi weapon.

It is time for the wars of light and dark to end, and for a new life affirming balance. But it will be many years and hard work etc. The End.

Copyright © 2018 Henry Edward Hardy

scanlyze1

21 February, 2018 Posted by | Ahsoka Tano, Ezra Bridger, Fellowship of the Ring, Gandalf, Jedi, Mortis, Rebels, scanlyze, Star Wars, tropes | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What happens to Kanan, Ezra and Ahsoka in season 4 of Star Wars Rebels?

What happens to Kanan, Ezra and Ahsoka in season 4 of Star Wars Rebels?

==possible spoilers==

This article assumes the reader is familiar with Star Wars Rebels. If not, you can catch up on any unfamiliar people at wookiepedia or tvtropes.

So what happens to the “Cowboy Jedi” Kanan Jarrus and his padewan, Ezra Bridger?

We now know that Hera and Chopper and possibly/probably clone trooper Capt. Rex survive and participate in the battle on Yavin 4 in Star Wars (the original movie). Do Kanan and Ezra die? Go into exile? Turn to the dark side?

Let’s take it in turn.

My guess is that yes, Kanan will die. I think the tragedy of that is being set up with his interactions with Hera Syndulla, particularly their almost-kiss in Rebels Season 4, Ep 3 “The Occupation”

There’s no way that Kanan would voluntarily be separated from Hera again. The last time that happened, they lost Ahsoka and Kanan lost his sight. Therefore, there’s almost no way that Kanan would have not been at the battle of Yavin 4. And as the only known surviving member of the old Jedi Order except for Obi-Wan and Yoda, surely he would have been notable and a commander in the Rebel Army in Rogue One and Star Wars. So have to think there is a good possibility he gets a tearjerking heroic death and Hera soldiers on without him.

In the alternative, since Kanan is in many ways an expy of the bitter, dissolute, but then redeemed, blind ponytailed Jedi Master Rahm Kota from the non-canon game The Force Unleashed, maybe Kanan was on Yavin 4 and had his own “hero of another story” arc as Kota did and the cell in Rogue One did.

Ezra is more complicated. With his flirtation with the dark side, certainly I could see him going that way, although I kind of doubt he is Snoke. He could go back to being a street rat and live underground like Kanan used to after order 66. He might die with Kanan, or on his own, heroically, although it would be fairly brutal to kill off the teenage point of view character on an (allegedly) kids cartoon show.

What about Anakin Skywalker’s former Padewan, Ahsoka Tano? You can see a lot of my previous speculation here.

I’m going to put forward my own, I wouldn’t even call it a theory or speculation, but a story I like going forward. There’s one new piece of canon information which is pretty amazing which I want to introduce here. There was another Jedi Master who survived Order 66 besides Yoda, Obi-Wan, and, until she was captured and executed, Master Luminara.

According to Darth Vader #6, Master “Madame” Jocasta Nu, the Coruscant Jedi Temple chief librarian, survived Order 66. And she spent the years after compiling holograms she had saved or recovered. Was this preparation for refounding the Jedi Order? Or perhaps preparing a “time capsule” for a future time?

In the latter case, perhaps Madame Nu’s archive provided part of the basis either for Luke’s failed New Jedi Order, which Kylo Ren corrupted/destroyed, or perhaps his new, “Dai Bendu” or “Je’daii” grey, not-Jedi order which succeeds it.

Or, perhaps, just as with the Temple of the Whills and Ahch-To, and the abandoned Jedi Temple on Lothal, there is another temple on some place such as Dantooine, Dathomir, Ilum, or Tython to which Madame Nu, Ahsoka, Kanan, Ezra and whatever “children of the force” they can salvage form a hidden order unknown to Luke and the Skywalker and Solo clans (at least, yet.) That is what I would do if I were them in ep 7,8 era, get the heck out of Dodge and lay low for a few hundred or thousand years.

So here’s to Madame Nu and hoping she avoids Darth Vader! Because if a non-force-powered Clawdite could take her down in Clone Wars, I don’t give much for her chances against Darth Vader at an even more ancient age in the time of the classic movies or ep 7,8,9 era.

What do you think?

May the Force be with you!

Star-Wars-Darth-Vader-6-Jedi-Archivist-Jocasta-Nu
Jocasta Nu

Copyright © 2017 Henry Edward Hardy

scanlyze1

4 November, 2017 Posted by | Ahsoka Tano, Clone Wars, Jedi, Jocasta Nu, Kanan Jarus, movie, Rebels, scanlyze, Star Wars, The Force | , , , , , , | Leave a comment